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Waiting for Big Brother to show the way

Richmond kids could spend up to 2 years looking for a mentor

Twenty-five-year-old Chris Mul-Howard and 11-year-old Reace like to tease each other. Throughout the interview, the two laugh easily and rib each other, once in awhile even giving each other a friendly punch on the arm.

"Reace really likes to tease," said Mul-Howard.

To which Reace said: "Chris is nice and funny sometimes ."

The two Richmondites have a special bond, that of Big Brother and Little Brother.

Three years ago, Mul-Howard decided to look into volunteering for Big Brothers of Greater Vancouver (BBGV), a nonprofit organization that matches men with boys who have little to no contact with their fathers.

"I wished that I had had a Big Brother when I was growing up," said Mul-Howard.

Although, the assistant manager at the Keg Restaurant was quick to say he had lots of love growing up, he missed having a father figure around.

"I was an only child and although I did have a grandfather who was great, it's not like having a dad to play sports with or to hang out with,' said Mul-Howard, a graduate of Burnett secondary.

"Because I grew up in a situation similar to a Little Brother, it was important for me to volunteer as a Big Brother."

The two meet once a week, for about three to four hours, typically on the weekends during the school year and in the summer, often on a Wednesday night.

Reace's favourite time so far was when Mul-Howard took him to a Canucks game.

"That was really awesome," said Reace with a big smile on his face.

Mul-Howard quipped that being a Big Brother gives him permission to act like a kid again.

"I can go see movies like Transformers, that my girlfriend would never go see, and I can go to Lazer Tag, something my friends don't want to do," he said.

For Reace, having Mul-Howard in his life is "cool."

"I have two sisters so it's really nice to have Chris to hang out with, go play football, soccer or hockey with and then go out for something to eat," said Reace, who starts Grade 6 this fall.

When asked how long the process took, Mul-Howard conceded there were many hoops to jump through before BBGV matched him up with Reace.

"It was about three months for me," he said. "They do a criminal check on you to protect the kids, and then you go through an interview and a training process as well . Big Brothers really prepare you well for what you are about to undertake."

"They really make sure you are matched with someone who likes to do the same things you do . Reace and I both love sports."

Reace piped in: "And food . Japanese, Thai."

Both remember their first meeting as being a little nerve-wracking.

"I met with Reace's mom first and she described Reace to me," added Mul-Howard. "She told me Reace liked poker so we played poker for Skittles that first time."

On a serious note, Mul-Howard went on to add: "It's really important for me that Reace has someone there on a constant basis."

Looking at Reace with obvious affection, he added: "It's growing into a lifelong relationship . when I decided to become a Big Brother, I understood that for me it would probably be a lifelong friendship."

"When I learned that I was getting a Big Brother, I was like 'yeah,'" said Reace, who waited six months to be matched with Mul-Howard.

In Richmond, there are many young boys waiting for a Big Brother.

"We desperately need Big Brothers, our waitlist in Richmond is at least two years," said Michelle Lan, spokesperson for BBGV. "We need to spread the word a bit more about Big Brothers in Richmond.

"I think maybe the reason people don't want to commit is that they might feel intimidated or think to themselves 'am I good enough to be a role model,'" Lan said.

Lan wanted to dispel a few concerns some men may have about becoming a Big Brother.

"You are not meant to replace a child's father, volunteers do not need to spend a lot of money on activities and Big Brothers are merely friends who act as positive role models and provide stability for them," said Lan.

Mul-Howard couldn't be happier with the decision he made more than three years ago, when he was only 22 years old.

"It's so rewarding and makes me feel really good," he said. "I really enjoy my time with Reace."

Lan spoke about a young boy she recently met. He's been matched for four years now.

"He told me that he lived with his mom, grandma and two aunts, with no man in the house, so he really had been missing a male figure," Lan said. "He said his Big Brother was one of the best things to happen to him."

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BIG BROTHERS STATISTICS

BBGV serves more than 700 children each year.

There are currently 244 Big Brothers matches in the Lower Mainland.

There are now seven waitlisted children in Richmond.

On average, it takes about six months for a volunteer to be processed before he is ready to be matched (reference checks, criminal record checks, interview, training).

There are 12 Richmond matches right now.

BBGV matches boys ages seven to 14.

The average age of a Big Brother is between 25 and 40.

A Big Brother must commit for one year, and meet once a week for two to four hours.

For more information, call 604-876-2447 or visit www. bigbrothersvancouver.com.