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Can you hear the coaches sing?

Richmond Youth Soccer chiefs only want to hear one voice coming from the sideline

During the game, there's cheering, jeering, screams to pass or shoot and howls for a foul.

But in the end, there's only one voice that matters - and it belongs to the coach.

That's the mantra generating from the Richmond Youth Soccer Association (RYSA) when it comes to the red card issue of parents trying to coach from the side of the field.

RYSA, the nucleus for boys soccer in the city for 58 years with more than 1,300 players, said it's blessed with a generation of generally well-behaved parents who interact positively with players and coaches alike.

The association is not blind, however, to the thankfully infrequent occasions when an over-zealous parent tries to direct their child during a game.

"We try to make sure there's only one voice during a game," said Huw Harris, who has been on the RYSA board for four years and been in charge of coach/parental education for three years.

"Kids will almost always listen to their parents. They might have respect for the coach, but if they hear instructions from the parent and it's contradictory to the coach, it puts the kid in the situation where they're going to have to upset someone and that's a problem.

"The kids must have an environment where they have fun and are allowed to make mistakes, because, ultimately, we want them to play soccer for the rest of their lives."

At a recent tournament, too many parents were "coaching" a particular Richmond team, not least because both players and parents were relatively new to the competitive environment.

"I admit, we could have prepared better for it, but (the sideline coaching) really did the kids a disservice," said Harris.

"The coaches sometimes have technical areas, but they're usually on the opposite (side of the field) from the parents.

"That's perceived as a good thing by some, but, as a coach, I wasn't aware of the "coaching" going on from the parents until I was told much later."

Harris would prefer to be on the same side as the parents, so he can "hear when someone is stepping out of line."

"Even then, it totally distracts the coaches from what they're supposed to be doing and can't be anything but detrimental. And if they're on the other side of the field, they can't possibly know what messages the player is receiving from the coach."

The parents often have the best of intentions, added Harris, but "even the smallest of instructions could be the opposite of what the player was asked to do."

Parents, of course, have every right to be at the field, and players, coaches and their clubs all want them there, because they play an integral role in the community-driven organization.

Everything they do or say, before, during and after a game or practice session, can add to the joy a child feels when walking onto the field in their team's jersey.

"Be positive, don't coach, don't add pressure to your child, it can do nothing but worsen the situation," said Harris.

"After a game or practice, there's only two things you should be saying, 'did you have fun?' and 'what do you want to eat?'

"The kid will open up and tell you what they want to talk about in terms of the game, if at all."

RYSA's chairman Doug Long, who's also the club's long term player development officer, said he can think of multiple moments when a parent, usually the dad, is giving instruction during a game and trying to deliver so-called coaching points.

"I have seen player's eyes popping out of their heads when this happens. It's pretty unfair to the player," added Long, a former provincial player and the club's technical director for seven years before.

"I'll watch my own daughter playing and think something needs to change or something different needs to be done, but I have to have the discipline to say nothing."

And if the player is hearing it from the parent at the side, you can bet your last dollar the referee, many of them only teenagers themselves, are also on the receiving end.

"Adult referees will have developed a thick skin over the years. They might not like it, but they are better prepared to deal with it," said Long.

"But for kids, kids take it very personally and will end up leaving the game altogether. We need our refs, the game can't go on without them."

Quite often, Long said he'll remind parents that if they don't have anything nice to say, "then don't say anything at all."

"I remember a game many years ago when some of our parents were getting a little too loud," recalled Long.

"I called the referee's attention. I asked him to stop the game so that I could go speak to our parents. I walked across the field and said to them, "guys, you are being way too loud and on the ref's back too much. If you don't quieten down, I'll have to ask you to step back 20 yards. It worked.

"Overall, our parents are pretty good. It was just that one time they got carried away."

Whether it's parents getting on the backs of players, coaches or the refs, coaches, Long insists, set the tone for the model of behaviour and have to lead by example.

"If you have too many coaches shouting too many instructions, the parents tend to think it's open season," he added.

"We have a code of conduct that has to be signed to get through the registration system, and we also have a BC Soccer reference guide, which helps educate the parent."

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