From time to time, the Richmond News will focus on some of the unique jobs people undertake in the city. In this first edition of Odd Jobs, we find out what counsellors provide in the Family Justice Centre, a provincial service that doesn’t receive a lot of exposure, yet deals with matters that strike at the core of family relationships.
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When “happily ever after” doesn’t happen for parents and their children, one of Richmond’s lesser-known community service teams swings into action. |
They are counsellors who serve in the Richmond Family Justice Centre, a section of the province’s Ministry of Justice that provides a helping hand through the legal system when a family relationship has broken down.
Despite what their traffic numbers may suggest, it’s not a service that springs immediately to mind for many people, said Ronne Sun, local manager of the three-person team which last year handled 840 phone calls and saw an average of 85 families a month.
“If people are having family issues, they are probably coming from the courts, which they can find a difficult and bewildering experience without the aid of lawyers, or support workers,” Sun said. “And when they become aware that we are here, many people say, ‘Wow, how come no one told us that.’”
The role of the counsellors at the centre is to provide information in an easily digestible manner at a time when a family feels like their world is crumbling around them.
“Family law is messy. It’s emotional. It’s frustrating. People are feeling alienated, hurt and they have all these emotions that are contributing to their mental state,” said Denise Dirksing, one of the counsellors. “And it’s a case of trying to see logic through a red mist of emotion. We try and help people through that.”
Dirksing and her fellow counsellor Shameem Hawe, provide help with provisions in the Family Law Act, do short-term counselling, provide referrals, and help with required paperwork if the parties come to a resolution.
“And if not, we’ll help each party through court, but we cannot advocate for them. We’re mediators,” Dirksing said. “We are dispute resolution specialists.
“We also try to provide parents with an environment where they feel safe and confident to have a conversation on how they are going to deal with their kids, how to take care of them,” Dirksing said.
It’s that personal point of contact that many clients of the family justice centre appreciate.
“It can be overwhelming for people when you look at the family law act. And it can be overwhelming emotionally when you are going through separation and divorce,” Hawe said.
“Maybe their first appointment is to come in and just talk,” Dirksing said. “They, perhaps, just need someone to bounce things off. And it might take two to three visits until they get to the point where they are looking their options.
“They may even use our service one time and feel empowered enough to proceed by themselves,” Hawe added. “Or they know we’re here and can follow up later on, whether it’s the next day, next week, or two years from now.”
Whatever the time span may be, the ideal is to provide families with a sense of empowerment to make the decisions for their family moving forward, whatever the direction entails.
“Meeting with us may lead them to try a different tact at home. They may be so busy being angry and hurt at the other parent that when they start to talk to someone else they begin to get a different perspective on things,” Dirksing said.
“People also become aware of their rights and responsibilities when it comes to looking after the children,” Hawe said.
And providing the opportunity for self determination is at the heart of the service.
“Without that, it’s like taking one picture from a 500-page family photo album, giving it to a stranger and asking them to make a decision on how you are going to raise your family. Why would you do that if you have the power to do it yourself,” Dirksing said. “Sometimes you have to go that way. But if you have an option to make it work yourself, then take a shot.”
Most communities across B.C. have their own Family Justice Centre. With two counsellors on staff, Richmond is considered a smaller office. In comparison, Surrey’s office has seven counsellors on hand, and wait times for assistance can average three to four weeks.
Richmond has no wait time.
There’s no hard and fast explanation for that, Sun said, adding the ethnic composition of the city’s population and the barriers that poses may be a contributing factor, although the centre provides language translation services at no cost, does outreach activities with local community groups, and assures confidentiality in all matters.
“We don’t know if people are not coming to us because they don’t know the service is available to them, or from a cultural view that believes family matters are private,” Dirksing said.
“But when you are coming into a new country you’re dealing with a lot of new things. And even if you are experiencing significant cultural barriers we will sit with people and do what it takes to help them understand what the legislation is, how we can help you and what the options are,” Dirksing said. “And if that takes one visit, two, or three, we’re OK with that.
“Ultimately, we want people to make the best decisions for their family.”
That’s what makes the service an effective, family-focused one, she added.
“It’s still mom and dad making the decisions for their family,” she said. “It’s not a stranger making a decision for them. And that empowers a family.”
But what drives counsellors on? What keeps them inspired to manage cases that often deal with families dealing with raw emotions in a time of upheaval?
“It’s not always a happy place to be,” Dirksing said. “You’re dealing with matters at the end of a fairytale where the prince and the princess don’t live happily ever after. And you have to help people with the fallout from that.
“Sure, there’s a lot of negativity around a couple that is separating,” she added. “But we try to refocus that into something constructive. Something that can help them move forward, because if a couple finally ends up being separated, it doesn’t mean they can’t have a good relationship.”
A sense of balance between work and home life is crucial to help the counsellors manage their days, Dirksing said.
“Teamwork while at work is also important. We support each other and work as a team to help each other through the tough spots.”
As for why anyone would put themselves into the middle of family affairs the way counsellors do, Hawe said it was her experience as a former client that urged her to pursue getting the qualifications for the job.
“It’s also showing people there is an alternate way to handle matters,” she said. “It doesn’t have to be adversarial. It can be collaborative. There can be be good family outcomes with a focus on the kids.”
Small “rewards” along the way also help.
“We’re not here looking for recognition or praise,” Hawe said. “But when it comes, in those moments when people say thank you or give you a hug, I can’t believe how much I get out of that.
“Sometimes, I feel like I am just doing my job, and then realize I’ve had this impact on someone’s life. That’s reward enough.”
For more information about the Family Justice Centre, visit justicebc.ca/en/fam/. For the Richmond office, call 604-775-2956.
