Her hands are clammy, her posture is pigeon-toed and her attempts to suppress her nervousness only result in fidgeting. But then she high-steps and spins through the school dance with pure grace.
Kathryn Crawford is preparing to glide into the spotlight Sept. 23 and 24 as part of Dances for a Small Stage at the Shadbolt Centre for the Arts in Burnaby.
Crawford, who's been teaching jazz and ballet at the Burke Academy of Dance in Richmond for the past two years, is spending her days sweating in a rehearsal room as she prepares for her big number.
"My piece is about a young girl who has expectations for a school dance but is let down by the moment," she said, taking a brief respite from her grueling rehearsal schedule to be interviewed.
Growing up a shy girl in West Vancouver, Crawford said she can relate to the psychology of her dance routine, which features a stumbling adolescent trying to control her gawkiness, and a moment of delight as the dance transforms to fulfill her fantasy.
"I was very interested by the mannerisms and façade we put up in public situations," she said, adding that the number is informed by her own experiences of looking for magic in gymnasium lights.
"You expect things to change if you dance with the cute boy everyone wants," she said, laughing as she explained that nothing ever really changed at those dances.
Dancing has always been an escape from her natural timidity, according to Crawford.
"I was a really shy little girl, so it was a good way for me to come out of my shell," she said.
Crawford started dancing when she was four and found it to be a natural outlet.
"I just love to move and I always have," she said.
Crawford tried gymnastics and other sports, but said dancing was always her favourite, although being a dance choreographer is a different matter.
"It's a really terrifying prospect for me," she said. In addition to her own dance piece, Crawford has a hand in the choreography of another dancer who plans to re-enact a hectic Toronto commute on the Shadbolt stage. It's scheduled to be the first time Crawford's choreography has stood up to a spotlight's glare.
Crawford said the atmosphere at the centre will likely feel a bit like a cabaret, and patrons can take in the fast-paced dance numbers with a drink in hand.
It's a little different from Crawford's day job, where she teaches the fundamentals of dancing to aspiring hoofers and would-be prima ballerinas.
"I really believe in giving a student a set of skills," she said.
Besides focusing on the form of each movement, Crawford said she examines the motivation and mentality behind the movements.
As an example, she might coach young children to move to the left as though a bowl of delicious ice cream was waiting for them.
For Crawford, the central tenet of dancing is moving with joy, or not moving at all.
When asked for the best instruction she'd received as a dancer, Crawford replied: "If it doesn't feel good, don't do it."
