"Dovere, potere, and volere," my Italian professor told us, "are irregular verbs."
At the time she was referring to the
way in which they are conjugated in sentences. But those three verbs - meaning to be obliged to, to be able to, and to want to - translate into three distinct motives for why people do what they do, and choose what that choose.
To be obliged to. To be able to. To want to.
Obviously each person will have a unique list of activities for each category. Although for most people I'm sure it would be safe to assume that homework and chores would fall under the obligation heading.
The question is, what happens when everything in your life is reduced to something you have to do? We're all familiar with the term jaded. The point where the daily pleasures no longer hold the joy and sparkle they once did. The point when life
simply becomes a monotonous routine of schedules, deadlines, responsibilities, and duties. It's like a treadmill that won't stop racing beneath you; exhausting, but never getting you any closer to where you want to be.
What happens when the hobbies (be it playing the piano, writing poetry, solv-
ing logic puzzles, or playing sports) that formed the foundations of your personality and your dreams somehow lose their status? And you don't do them because you want to. You do them because you know that you are competing against thousands, and if you don't practice you'll fade into mediocrity. If you don't practice your coach will notice and will make you do extra drills tomorrow. If you don't practice your parents will never be proud of you.
What happens when you're motivated by fear and bitterness instead of enthusiasm and hope?
Sometimes growing up can make you forget why you wanted to do things in the first place.
I look back on my preteen years as one of the most motivated periods of my life. I remember a girl who smiled, and leapt at every
opportunity to try something new. She didn't care what her classmates thought of her, and she didn't give the possibility of failure a second glance.
She believed in herself and stood behind her convictions with confidence. This girl wanted to do everything. She somehow found a way to want to do the things she was required to do.
Somewhere along the line that changed, and the girl in the mirror wilted into someone frightened and insecure. She would
reconsider her opinions if she was challenged, and question the value of a prize if there was a promise of struggle. Her desire and passion had dwindled so that even the things she loved were reduced to responsibilities.
I think a lot of teenagers find themselves at this point. And to you I say: Forget dovere . or at least find a way to change him into potere and volere. Because you are capable of completing the tasks at hand. And one can find personal pleasure in mastering the ordinary battles of everyday.
Anyway, it's what I'll been telling myself in 2013.
Anna Toth is a J.N. Burnett graduate and is currently in her first year at UBC.
