While I didn’t quite officially meet my goal, let’s face the fact that it was a lofty one.
I had never shot a full-length golf course in my life before coming to the Richmond Country Club in April and I’m now a confident, near-bogey golfer thanks to the wonderful teachings of head pro Mark Strong.
Here is my final round, hole by hole:
Hole 1 (+1) – I began decently with a nice drive and good contact on my second shot, only to find the bunker.
Hole 2 (+2) – Doubt begins to creep in as I duff a ball to the ladies tees. Miraculously, I make a 22-foot putt to make a double bogey. Whew!
Hole 3 (+1) – I smack my drive 260 yards, but into the rough. My approach is short.
Hole 4 (+1) – I mishit my eight-iron on this par-three hole. I lip out on my par putt.
Hole 5 (E) – A 260-yard drive and a 200-yard approach with my three wood puts me in a chipping position to set up a birdie. I chip it over the green and make par. Note: Walk up to the green before chipping to get a sense of the distance you need.
Hole 6 (+1) – I hit the fairway bunker. I get decent contact and make sure not to take any sand with me on the second shot. A standard bogey.
Hole 7 (+1) – I love this hole, but you have to be accurate with your drives. I’m unlucky to find myself behind a tree after my drive, so I take a stroke and chip onto the fairway. Note: Don’t be a hero.
Hole 8 (+2) – I try to be a hero and attempt a slice on this dogleg left, but I plop it into the greenside bunker on hole one. Note: DON’T BE A HERO.
Hole 9 (+1) – On this 130-yard par-three, I plop it 30 feet away on the fringe and three-putt. Frustration.
Note: Align yourself on every tee shot. Hole 10 (E) – I crush my drive to the fringe of the fairway. Walking up the fairway I stop to chat with some groundskeepers. Note: Groundskeepers are the ones that make your game better. If the groundskeepers aren’t on your side, don’t ask for help from the golf gods. I always make sure to give a polite nod and wave to each groundskeeper that passes me. This club’s crew is top-notch. A tip of the hat to all of them.
Hole 11 (E) – A wayward drive is made up for with a rare, great approach with my eight-iron to get a GIR. A two-putt for par and I’m on pace to break 90!
Hole 12 (+1) – A groundskeeper whistles at me and throws me a Callaway ball he spotted nearby. I think this is a good sign so I’m confident I won’t hit the water on this difficult par-three. Splash! I recover with an up-and-down.
Hole 13 (+2) – I hit another fairway bunker.
Hole 14 (+1) – I hit a greenside bunker. Note: I remember my “chicken feet” in the sand (club faces to the left of the pin, the ball goes straight and my feet are pointed to the right of the pin. Get under the ball with authority).
Hole 15 (+1) – I join three veteran jokesters ahead of me to finish my round. Jason gives me a ride on his cart!
Hole 16 (+1) – I nearly miss a golfer ahead of me with my drive as she was behind a tree. Funny thing, I couldn’t find my ball after, so I dropped a new one (I’m not counting that). Note: Make sure everyone is 100 per cent out of the way. FORE!
Hole 17 (+2) – Here it is. Two holes to go! Pull the driver out. Set the tee. Place the ball. One practice swing. Two. Deep breathing. Step back. Aim. Set up. Practice swing. Smack! Into the pumpkin patch! An OB! My first OB in God only knows when.
Hole 18 (+1) – So it all comes down to the last hole. I need to make par. On my third shot I hit a bunch of trees 40 yards out. My approach gets on the green, but I’m left with a 20-foot putt to make par, which I miss.
My time at the country club may be over, but this story will never end!
I sign off from the Graeme Project with my favourite golf quote.
“I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive.”
– George W. Bush
SCORECARDS:
Month: April May June July Aug. Sept.
Score: 119 112 107 98 95 91
Water balls: 3 1 1 1 0 1
Out of bounds: 2 2 1 0 0 1
Reg. greens: 2 1 2 3 2 2
Pars-Birdies: 0-0 0-0 3-0 3-0 2-1 3-0
