In November 2008, Patsy Wilding was completing her Masters in education/counseling psychology at the University of B.C.
At the time, Wilding was the mother of a 10year-old daughter and eight-year-old twin sons.
She was excited about embarking on a new chapter in her life.
"My children were in school and I was ready to start work again," said Wilding.
Then, in March 2009, Wilding found out she was pregnant.
Her pregnancy threw her into a depression.
"When I found out I was pregnant with Toby, it was quite a shock and I became quite depressed," said the 39-year-old mom. "I physically couldn't get out of my funk on my own - I knew I needed help."
Just prior to Toby's birth, her family doctor referred Wilding to the reproductive mental health department at BC Women's Hospital and Health Centre.
Wilding had previously suffered from depression after her twins were born, but had gone off her medication when she found out she was pregnant with Toby.
"I went to BC Women's Hospital and Health Centre after Toby was born, and I starting seeing a psychiatrist," Wilding said. "He told me I shouldn't have gone off my anti-depressant.
"I also attended group therapy for women suffering from post-partum depression and that really helped me."
When she started feeling better, Wilding began to think that if she was affected so badly with post-partum depression, there had to be other new moms liker her.
With a teacher's background - she taught at Cambie secondary for years - and a Masters under her belt, coupled with what she gleaned during group therapy, Wilding approached Richmond Family Place (RFP) about her idea for a new program, MotherCare.
"I told RFP executive director, Kim Winchell, that the inspiration for this group stemmed from my own experience making the adjustment to motherhood after the arrival of an unexpected fourth child, eight years after my other three children," said Wilding, who is a registered clinical counsellor. "I told her that I hope to use professional training to support other mothers make an enjoyable transition to motherhood."
Wilding said during MotherCare sessions, she hopes to touch on topics such as: identity issues, how moms feel about putting their dreams and aspirations on hold, how new moms adjust to spending their days focused on a baby rather than their career, and how to find purpose and joy in their new role as mothers.
"I think I can use my education and counseling background to help moms navigate raising a new child," she added. "I find that sometimes when a woman becomes a mother she reverts to this 1950s, Leave it to Beaver, kind of mother, one that thinks she has to do it all, and do it really well.
"It's unrealistic to expect that."
And that expectation only creates a sense of failure in some new moms, according to Wilding.
"They expect too much of themselves - perfection is impossible," she said. In her program she hopes to debunk a lot of motherhood myths.
"It's important to be realistic about one's goals and not to put those pressures on oneself."
While there are many groups for mothers and tots, MotherCare is intended to build social connections for mothers, encourage self-care and provide a place for discussing the emotions associated with becoming a mother.
"The premise is that mothers are better equipped to care for their infants when they are receiving encouragement and support for themselves while they adjust to the many changes associated with becoming a mother. In light of the recent cuts to programs that support new mothers by having health nurses visit them in their homes, this program may assist with filling the gap in service."
Wilding said that what she really is offering is a forum for new moms to talk honestly, without being judged, about the highs and lows of motherhood.
MotherCare starts Thursday, Jan. 12 from 10 to 11: 30 a.m. at Richmond Family Place, 8660 Ash St. There is no fee to join, however, register soon, as there may only a few spots left.
For more information, call RFP at 6042784338 or email Wilding at [email protected].
