Once we retire, we’re no longer our job title.
But how do we give up a career that’s defined us for years? During our lifetime, people over 55 are more likely to have had only one or two careers, and our sense of self is inextricably tied to our job.
When a person leaves the workforce they’re giving up a large part of their identity. Considering we spend most of our waking hours at work, that’s a huge chunk.
So, if I’m no longer Shelley Civkin the librarian, who am I?
When we meet someone for the first time we usually ask: “What do you do?” We don’t ask, “What kind of person are you?” or “What are your interests and hobbies?”
We want to know what defines them, and that’s usually their work.
So, in retirement, it’s important to consider what else defines you. It could be your faith, your hobbies or your volunteer work.
It could be your status in a family — wife, husband, aunt, whatever. But something else will replace your career as your “new” identity.
Don’t be in a hurry though; it takes time to figure out exactly where you fit in to this new retirement cosmos.
Before retirement, I identified as Shelley, the outgoing librarian. I loved being around people all day and helping them.
Whether it was with library customers or colleagues, I was engaged in constant social interaction.
And even though I’m comfortable with solitary pursuits, I thrive in social settings.
Now that I’m retired, I have to consciously seek that out, because I know it’s what makes me happy.
The thought of living a solitary, quiet life of retirement might seem like nirvana to some.
But those who flourish in a social setting might flounder when faced with solitude.
Mind you, if you have a partner who’s also retiring, you could always spend more time with them. However, a 24/7 spouse is a lot different than an evening-and-weekend spouse.
Consider widening your social circle by joining a club or taking a course with like-minded individuals.
Retirement is a time for trying new things and living outside your comfort zone, so embrace the process of exploration.
Like Lyndsay Green, author of the new book Ready to Retire, says: “Be open to what speaks to you.”
You have all the time in the world to try new things. So, get out there and start showing up for life.
And remember — you’re more than just your former job title. Finding new meaning and purpose in life can be extremely fulfilling and has the potential to open up an exciting new world to you.
Go ahead, stretch yourself. I guarantee it will be worth the effort.
Shelley Civkin is a former communications officer with the Richmond Public Library
