Letter: Here's how to make your Richmond tax dollars disappear

Dear Editor,

Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy, as today I entertain you with a trick known as The Wasted Use Of Your Tax Dollars When You Say You Want To Save Them.

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First, I’ll need a gentleman from our audience, preferably someone who would be more inclined to put to death 500 cats than have a few of his tax dollars taken from him every year to help care for them.

You, sir! Yes, thank you.

Now, just to be sure, you understand that none of your tax money is spent on those cats, and it’s the generous donations to RAPS of time and money from warm blooded citizens that helps them, correct?

That’s right, now you know. Super, because that’s not the trick that’s going to waste taxpayers’ money. You see, we need to find that trick, and to do that, sir, could you please tell me something else about cats you would like to see happen? What’s that? Licensing for cats? That’s perfect! That’s exactly what we need for this trick.

OK, now I’d like you, and everybody in the audience to clear your minds and allow me to telepathically transmit these thoughts to your head. Here we go: 

In Richmond, it costs $36.25 to license a normal spayed or neutered dog. I imagine cats would not cost any more than this.

Now, to license your cat you will have to call city hall. Which is run by city employees, making city wages paid by tax dollars. Don’t forget there are specific email addresses and website pages set up by city hall for licensing issues for dogs, and these would need to be created for cats. Created by employees paid by tax dollars. Your tax dollars.

Now sir, I get the feeling that you’re the type of person who, once cats are licensed, will call to complain every day you see a cat in your yard, or walking across a street, or in a tree, or maybe even those clouds look like a cat and you need to call to have someone come out and investigate if it’s licensed, am I right?

And who will be handling all of your calls? And will the meagre amount of cat registrations pay for all of that? My Magic 8-Ball says “Very Unlikely.”

You see, RAPS will take the majority of them, and while that may save you a few dollars, now you’re eating into all the generous donations by those warm blooded people who just want to do what’s best for cats.

However, if RAPS is closed, you need to contact the city again and we’re back to using up your tax dollars as city employees are dispatched.

You know, the tax dollars you wanted to not pay in the first place? Ta-da!

And that, is how you waste your tax dollars under the guise of saving yourself a few dollars. Honestly, that doesn’t even make sense.

Geordie McGillivray


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