Well, those lazy days of summer are finally here - at least for those of us who aren't working every single week, sitting in poorly ventilated offices, sweating, looking longingly outside at blue skies, envying the birds their freedom to go where they will. Wait, where was I?
Right! Summertime activities. With the kids out of school, parents may sometimes worry that the little ones aren't getting as much intellectual enrichment as they do during the other 10 months of the year.
Here are five simple activities that will both engage their minds and keep them, and you, entertained this summer.
? Respecting Nature-Gator Wrestling: Why get a boring pet like a cat or dog, when you can get your kids the gift of physical fitness, with a medium-sized American alligator! Teach them to wrestle, and how best to avoid the powerful jaws clamping down on a limb and taking them down for a death roll.
Supplies needed: Gator; muddy pond.
Learning outcomes: Kids should increase in strength and stamina, and develop storytelling skills through recounting how they got those distinctive scars.
? Applied Engineering-Build a narco-sub! Thanks to the wonders of drug prohibition, canny (and brutal!) Colombian drug lords have come up with increasingly inventive methods of getting their cocaine to market. You can test out one of their newest methods, creating a home-built functional submarine.
Supplies needed: wood, hammer, nails, twin diesel engines, aluminum hull material, about 400 kilos of white powder (you can use flour!).
Learning outcomes: Students will learn about modern construction techniques, undersea navigation, and possibly the intricacies of the juvenile justice system.
? Homeward Bound-Expert wilderness survival:
Scouting and guiding pamper kids, what with having adult supervision, first aid lessons, tents and sleeping bags, and shoes.
Instead, try teaching your kids how to really survive in the wilderness, by dropping them off hundreds of miles from home and letting them navigate back to civilization!
Supplies needed: Blindfolds and a full tank of gas for the drive to an isolated spot and the drive back alone, and that's it!
Learning outcomes: Kids will learn not to take their Xbox for granted, and should be able to describe in detail the flavours of several different types of grubs, worms, fungi, and tree bark.
? Modern History-Learning about Nikola Tesla: Did you know it was recently the birthday of famed inventor of everything electrical Nikola Tesla? To celebrate this, in July get your kids to try and complete Tesla's last work, the construction of a death ray capable of destroying a city!
Supplies needed: Several hundred tonnes of steel, copper, aluminum; genius-level intellect; pigeons.
Learning outcomes: If successful, your children should either extract a ransom from the nearest large nation-state, or wind up ruling Latveria.
? Appreciating Other Cultures-Translate the Necronomicon! The famed book of the dead, written in madness and driving all those who see it to the brink of despair at the knowledge of a malevolent universe, comes in Greek, Latin, and Arabic versions.
For younger learners, try reading through famed alchemist John Dee's Elizabethan translation!
Supplies: A tome of occult knowledge that no man should contemplate.
Learning outcomes: A knowledge of other languages and cultures, and also madness.
Matthew Claxton reports for the Langley Advance.
