The Editor,
Find a penny, pick it up. And all day long you'll have a penny.
Although now true, that idiom is supposed to end "And all day long you'll have good luck," but the luck of the penny, and might I suggest, our lonely number '1' has all but faded.
Nobody wants the penny or the number '1' anymore it seems. One of anything just isn't enough of everything.
I'm watching a TV commercial for, let's say, a product I can spray from a can on my screen door to replace the bottom of my boat, so that it still floats. Who wouldn't want that, right? Just $19.95! But wait! We'll send you '2' cans, (cause you might have '2' boats and '2' screen doors).
I wasn't going to buy that crap for $20 bucks, but make it '2' cans and you got a deal!
'2' for '1' pizzas! Second pair of glasses free! BOGO! Buy '1' get '1' free! Get the second '1' 50 per cent off! Because you're not happy with '1'. You have to have 2! It's cheaper!
Look at the money I saved by not buying '1'. '1' is crazy!
To have only '1' of something is not enough. Having only '1' means you could of done better. Hang your head in shame. But 2! People are proud of two.
"I have a two-car garage, two bathroom basins, two vacations a year." Two means you're rich. Having only '1', means you cant afford '2'. You're poor.
'1' is the loneliest number, sang Three Dog Night in the sixties. To be '1' you're lonely. We've written song after song crying about being '1'. Alone. Incomplete. We don't want to be '1'.
So since we're getting rid of the penny, the former first unit in our currency, let's do away with '1' as well. We hardly ever use it. Don't really want it.
Unfortunately, if my plan is adopted, it's the children who will hurt the most. Now when mom or dad counts to three before judgement is laid down, three comes '1' count sooner. 2-3 WHAM!
But by adopting, the dropping of the '1', and the amount of times the threat is used daily, the parent counting to 3 will have so much extra leisure time with '1' gone.
So as we bid a fond farewell to our once shiny penny and the single digit it represented, let's also be realistic and admit the time has come to also bid adieu to the suffering '1'.
And, now it's '2' pennies for your thoughts with an equal '2' cents worth of sound advice given.
Bob Niles Richmond
