Most of my new years begin with a unique problem or two and this year has been no different.
I have been having some challenges lately in helping clients to focus on their real goals. Many people are taken off guard when I ask them to imagine themselves looking back a few years later and thinking about what needs to have happened for them to feel happy.
Just to be clear, debt freedom, a 10 percent rate of return and a million dollars are not real goals!
I had to take a step back while writing this article to realize that in this hyper-stimulated world we live in, it can be very difficult even for us dreamers to focus on deeper motivations.
Sometimes we all need a change of perspective.
While pondering this I stumbled upon a review of a book by Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent many years working in palliative care caring for those who were dying. She published a book called the “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”, based on the lessons learned in helping people face their final days. These are the five most common regrets that her patients expressed:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
We all know we’re going to be in the same shoes one day. The statistics are 100 per cent in favour of not getting out of here alive! Will we be having similar regrets or will we be thinking “wow — that was a life well-lived!”
What if we used these findings to begin setting goals at the opposite end of these regrets? Wouldn’t life be great if we could aspire to:
1. Live lives that are true to ourselves.
2. Make plans to enjoy an abundance of rejuvenating free time.
3. Express ourselves more openly.
4. Develop and maintain deeper friendships.
5. Give ourselves permission to be happy.
Those are pretty broad goals and they are not necessarily yours but I hope you get the idea. You need to define your big “Why?” and the things that need to happen in your life to realize it.
Solid financial and cash flow plans are still important but they are simply critical tools to help us achieve the real goals and stop obsessing about the money.
The beginning of a new year is a great time to focus first on our blessings and then get a jump start on living a life that we will one day leave with no regrets.
The opinions expressed are those of Richard Vetter, BA, CFP, CLU, ChFC. Richard is a certified financial planner and owner of WealthSmart Financial Group in Richmond, B.C., www.wealthsmart.ca
