Some folks think retirement is all about the money. For others, it’s about leisure. And travel. And giving back to the community. In reality, it’s all those things. And way more. Mostly, it’s about perspective and attitude.
There’s no right way or wrong way to do retirement. What I’ve learned is that retirement is a moving target. It will ebb and flow over time, along with everything else in your life. Some days you’ll love being retired and untethered. Others, you might be bored stiff. Probably more of Door #1 though.
What I can assure you of is that you’ll feel an enormous sense of power and autonomy. Particularly if you were not self-employed during your working years. Personally, I’ve learned a ton about myself since retirement – I’ve learned how to set healthy boundaries with people, assert myself without raising my voice, and face my fears, especially when they involve confrontation. It’s not a done deal, of course, but it’s definitely a work in progress. And I’m thrilled to count myself part of it. There’s nothing more soul-destroying than thinking you have no more to learn.
I’ve learned that there is great freedom in saying no, politely. In having a choice in how you wish to spend your time. As a textbook ‘pleaser’ who basically relinquished my volition over just about everything, I have learned to take back the reins of my self-determination. I’m not entirely sure if it’s aging or wisdom that has been the driving force behind my hard-won liberty. Whatever it is though, it’s directly related to retirement. That I know for sure.
Another thing I’ve learned is that there are great challenges involved in saying yes (…then wondering what the hell you’ve gotten yourself into). The way I look at it is this: No challenge, no growth. It’s far too easy to do what you’ve always done. The fun part comes in stepping out of your safe zone, accepting the possibility of failure, and finding that you’re capable of so much more than you ever gave yourself credit for. It’s like having a special super power bestowed on you.
Retirement presents an entirely new vantage point and lens from which to view the world. It truly is like starting life over. Minus the diapers. Well, maybe not for everyone. As I remind myself regularly: Stay open to all possibilities. You just never know what surprises you’ll get, and what you’ll learn along the way. Say yes to everything! Okay, maybe not everything. But try saying yes to things you absolutely never would have agreed to, pre-retirement. They don’t have to be death-defying stunts, just things that might have scared you before. For me, one challenge was learning to bake bread by hand. Then accepting responsibility for baking seven dozen challah buns every other week as part of an ongoing volunteer project.
Another challenge I took on was being the Master of Ceremonies for a large public event last year. I had lots of experience with various behind-the-scenes aspects of this while I was working as a librarian – writing speaking notes for the MC, board chairs and others, making up a schedule of events for large programs, introducing speakers, etc. – but I’d never stood up in front of 200 people before and been the MC for an entire event.
Challenges don’t have to be monumental to be life-changing. They just have to shake you up a bit.
In the words of T.S. Eliot , author of the classic poem “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”: “Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?”
Go for it! Don that cape, pull on those tights, go forth and conquer the world! Retirees can be superheroes, too! And don’t you forget it.
