I don’t even know where to begin with this.
It’s heartbreak on top of heartbreak. I don’t want to add to it, but I feel a need to say something, if only to satisfy the callers asking us to write about what happened recently at McMath secondary.
So, here goes...
Last Thursday, a Grade 12 girl at the school died. She was a bright, well-loved student who was active in her community — a member of Rotary Interact Club, passionate about ending homelessness and intent on starting a club to support the Richmond Animal Protection Society.
Her passing was a profound shock.
Teachers were given a prepared statement to read to their classrooms during the last block of the day. Some couldn’t get through it without breaking down. Many students left their classes sobbing. Everyone was encouraged to seek counselling, which the school provided, if they felt the need.
School was barely out for the day before the first bouquet was placed at the McMath sign in front of the school. By Friday, that one bouquet had grown into a powerful memorial with notes, stuffies, candles and a forest of flowers. It was a spontaneous and heartfelt coming together of kids in mourning. That night, about 50 to 60 students were there, supporting each other in their grief. Even Saturday night, when I went by, there were still kids gathered.
Monday morning, however, it was quite another story. The memorial had been dismantled, flowers and candles were tossed in a dumpster and there was a note from school staff, saying the memorial had been moved inside.
It looked like an incredibly callous show of disrespect. People were enraged, hence the calls for a news story. But there’s another side to this.
I spoke to the principal yesterday. It was yet another heart-wrenching conversation, with us both tearing up more than once. Yes, she had had the memorial moved inside — because it was forecasted to rain. She had told some of the students, thinking the word would get out, so others wouldn’t be surprised, but that didn’t happen. And she was as sickened as anyone to learn some of the flowers had been thrown out. That was never intended.
With a profound sense of regret that her intention to preserve the memorial had, in fact, added to the pain for some, on Tuesday morning she went out and bought as many red roses as she could find and offered them to students to either put back at the sign outside or in front of the indoor memorial.
For some, the damage was done; others didn’t know about the principal’s gesture. On the outside memorial, someone has posted a sign reading, “Our grief will NOT be silenced.”
What a tough time, so much sadness, guilt and regret. Mistakes were made, but we can learn. The outdoor memorial has been restored and will remain there until the Celebration of Life on Oct. 7. And the indoor one provides a place to reflect and write notes that will be placed in a scrapbook for the family.
Indeed, grief should never be silenced, meanwhile there’s no peace without forgiveness. Now’s the time for both so we can move forward and celebrate the short life of a beautiful girl.
