Last weekend I attended the screening of a short film by a pair of Vancouver filmmakers about a “gender fluid” child.
Frankly, I’d never heard the expression “gender fluid” before. It’s not hard to guess what it means, but just to be clear, it refers to an individual who is fluid in terms of their gender identification — they may present as male one day and female the next. Or, perhaps neither gender feels right, hence the expression “non-binary” gender identification, where an individual chooses not to be bound by either of the two gender types.
One of the two filmmakers describes themselves as such. On the night of the screening, they were wore a classic “little black dress,” three-inch heels and blood-red lipstick, but their voice spoke to a male anatomy. They explained that, until a few years ago they identified as a gay man, and only recently came to realize there was more to it.
Okay, you might have noticed it — all the theys and theirs.
The issue of pronouns can get a bit tricky, but said filmmaker noted many trans and gender fluid folks prefer to use the “they singular” pronoun — confusing, yes, but what isn’t. More about language in a minute.
The star of the film is also gender fluid. Assigned male at birth, this seven year old skipped around the lobby of the Chan Centre, prior to the opening, wearing a flouncy purple skirt, patent shoes and a feather boa.
I wanted to attend this event primarily to bring with me a gay Richmond teen who I know struggles, not so much with gender identity, but with a sense of belonging. This girl is smart, strong and out — self-identifying as a lesbian. But while she knows who she is, she’s not exactly surrounded by examples of her reality or her people. I’m not sure, but I would guess we have a lot fewer “out” teens in Richmond than in Vancouver. And it’s not because of something in the water, it’s because of something in the language.
Richmond trustees (Sandra Nixon the exception) argue it isn’t necessary to specify trans gender bullying as the school district has a zero tolerance for bullying of any kind. Yet, it does specify factors such as race and religion, via the Human Rights Code. Vancouver and other school districts have implemented gender-specific policies, for good reason. It acknowledges those individuals and their reality. The worst thing we can do to any group or individual is to render them invisible by failing to name them. And this is no oversight. It’s done deliberately out of fear that if children are exposed to the full range of gender and sexual identities, they may choose one we don’t like — and, indeed, they may. But to deny anyone something as fundamental as their own gender or sexual identity, is a recipe for pain and self loathing, and is the ultimate in bullying.
