When considering health, most of us focus on physical wellbeing.
I see emotional wellness as a deep sense of meaning and purpose, an abiding sense of peace, the ability to manage the stress and transitions of life, awareness of your thoughts and feelings and the ability to manage them.
Emotions influence your behaviour, your relationships and your thinking.
When we’re angry, we regress and aggress. We don’t think clearly or logically. We can’t see any other point of view but our own. An adult will act like a child, a 10-year-old like a toddler. A teenager . . . may still act like a teenager.
When depressed, we withdraw; we think negatively about ourselves, others, our world and the future. Depression narrows our thinking and we don’t recognize our positive options. and we may close ourselves off from the world.
When anxious, we freeze; we overestimate danger and challenge, and we underestimate our ability to cope. Anxiety holds us back from doing what we need to do, from moving forward, from reaching out, and from giving our best to the world.
You might see your emotions as products of genetics, physiology and luck. But it’s crucial to recognize your own resources and ability to cope with them. I believe there are three key emotional health skills that anyone can develop.
1. A meditative practice. Prayer, yoga, formal meditation and mindfulness are all effective ways of calming the mind, centering thoughts and reflecting. By deliberately pausing, breathing and slowing your thoughts and actions, you become less reactive.
Begin each day with a prayer of thankfulness. Count your blessings before you even get out of bed. This can prime the pump to allow you to see the good that you have and your ability to make a positive difference in your life.
As you retire at the end of the day, reflect on the blessing of the day (how you helped others and how others helped you) and its lessons. You may not end the day any younger or richer but perhaps a little wiser and with memories of some positive experiences. What is the measure of your days?
2. Choose your thoughts.
Thoughts are powerful.
If we don’t take care, they can provoke anxiety, fuel anger and prolong depression.
You can’t control the weather, traffic lights, the behaviour of others or luck, but you can choose your thoughts.
Cognitive therapy is one method of becoming aware of your thoughts, recognizing how they affect your mood or anxiety level, and gaining control over your emotions by choosing more efficacious thoughts.
Reflect on the thoughts that may have triggered an emotional reaction. With time, you’ll gain facility in recognizing the underlying assumptions and beliefs.
3. Turn your problems into goals.
Instead of replaying the past, think about what you want. When you are most relaxed, visualize yourself having achieved your goal, experiencing a sense of peace, and living a life rich with purpose and meaning. How do you feel? What do you see? Make it real!
If the effects of stress, anxiety, mood or other psychological symptoms are having a significant impact on your life, see your family doctor.
Your emotions are an important aspect of your health.
Dr. Davidicus Wong is a family physician. His website is davidicuswong.wordpress.com.
