“It’s not much, but it’s mine.”
This is how Flora (name changed) feels about a modest rental home she lives in with her son after finally leaving an abusive relationship and settling in Richmond.
Flora was feeling powerless with no control over her life, while being a stay-at-home mom looking after her son.
Her husband worked long hours and told her the money he earned was his — not hers because she didn’t work.
He would get angry when she took her son places while he was at work because he couldn’t come along.
Although sometimes people say mean things when they’re fighting, Flora said, now she can see it went beyond just normal fighting.
Finally, after many fights — and trying to suppress her feelings to keep the peace, especially with a young child around — a big blowout ended with her husband taking their son and leaving.
She spent four days frantically wondering where her son was — she was so desperate and afraid, her friends took her to the hospital, afraid she would hurt herself.
There she was connected to a social worker who got her into a transition house in Richmond, Nova House.
This was the beginning of her journey to independence and out of an abusive relationship.
At Nova House, which is run by CHIMO Community Services in Richmond, she realized she had rights.
She was finally away from the abusive situation and she started to piece together her life again. She realized how her husband had put her down and belittled her to the point she thought she was the one who was in the wrong.
“It makes such a difference when someone tells you ‘you’re doing good’,” Flora said of her experience at the transition house.
She got legal help to get custody of her son — even after her husband threatened he was going to get a lawyer and defeat her in court.
Nova House staff also helped her find housing, look for where to go back to school and write her resume.
“I felt like I had a bunch of moms,” she said.
Flora encourages any woman who feels powerless in a relationship to seek help — reach out and talk to friends and family, she said.
Many women think it’s a sign of weakness to admit that one is in an abusive relationship, Flora said, but, in fact, it takes a lot of courage to ask for help.
When she finally secured a rental apartment, a church in Richmond helped her furnish it with the basics to make it a home for herself and her son.
Flora is now planning her future — she is going back to school to become a veterinarian’s assistant.
The CHIMO Crisis Line is 604-279-7070 (open 8 a.m. to midnight every day).