Dear Mother:
Yesterday I received your very very nice letter mentioning my name being in the casualty list. I must say you did the right thing in not giving them my photo. How foolish I would have felt if I had my picture in the paper for such a minor thing when so many many lads are doing so much more and suffering so much more and yet no one ever hears a word about them.
I would have certainly been the laughing stock of the army if my picture had appeared. I was wondering how they managed to get all the dope on Ev and the rest of it. It would probably have been given out by the army. Newspaper stuff seems to me to be so terribly stupid, everything exaggerated or misconstrued, nowhere near the real truth.
Last night Scottie and I had a bit of a thriller. About 8:00 o’clock at night I was called on by the Intelligence Officer to go and search a house in our locality. There had been a few Jerries found in the neighbouring ones and it was thought this particular house warranted an examination. It was locked up tight with shutters drawn and that meant kicking down the door.
I must say it’s an eerie business going through a house at night looking for Jerries — every door you push open you expect a burst of machine gun fire to come crashing out.
Scottie came with me to give me a hand and on finding the house entirely empty and still in excellent condition we decided we’d move in and sleep there. We rigged up a light from my armoured wagon, lit a fire and proceeded to make ourselves right at home.
The place was very well furnished even to a nice big bed and mattress. We were all set to go to bed when Scottie spied two big shiny German 20mm shells under the cowling on top of the stove. He turned about 10 shades paler and stepped back.
I followed suit when after a couple of minutes he told me what he had spotted. Naturally what raced thru our minds was “Will they go up right away? Will they be a detonator for a big charge? So on and so on.” I bucked up courage to go and close the damper on the stove and then we both cleared out of the house.
After about 20 minutes we decided the fire would have died down sufficiently so we went back in and very carefully set to work to examine for booby traps, etc.
After a while we removed the hot shells to find they were empties with the powder taken out. They had been mantelpiece ornaments. The joke was on us. Scottie is keeping the shells for souvenirs. All in all it was quite a thrill and we felt uneasy for the remainder of the evening.
Eventually we went to bed fairly well satisfied there wasn’t any other monkey business around the house. This morning we made a thorough search of the place and it revealed beautiful sets of china, linens, glassware, silver, etc. and furthermore considerable German literature.
The owner of the house came around this morning and I took him to our Dutch interpreter for interrogation. The interpreter was away so I told the man to come back at noon. He must have been pretty worried because he went away and hasn’t shown up since.
In the meantime we are living in his nice little home, making use of all the conveniences, stove, coal, lamps, tables, chairs, beds, mattresses, etc.
This afternoon we had tea in the very nice china cups. It seems a shame to carry on as we do, occupying this type of home while the owners are hiding out in some cave in the hills or some big basement or tunnel, but we are callous brutes and it has little effect on us.
Mother, I’ve seen so much of it all now it doesn’t seem to matter what I see or what I know is happening in regards the terrible hardships that the poor civilians are subjected to. Whole towns and cities are one mass of death and destruction.
Thousands of homeless women and children with nothing more than what they can carry on their backs. For young men and women it is not too bad but for the aged and the babies it’s pretty hard to take.
Yesterday I was going along a street of a town which had been subjected to a terrific artillery and airforce barrage. The houses were not houses, they were irregular piles of rubble and dust with evidence of cherished ornaments, paintings, furniture, clothing, etc.
As I went along I kept looking in through the openings that had been windows.
At one place I spotted an old man sitting in the shelter of a heavy fireplace.
He had a tattered blanket wrapped around his shoulders and around a wee boy whom I would say was about 2 years old.
It was a terribly pathetic sight. I couldn’t begin to explain the expression on both their faces, but almost as soon as the old man saw me, he asked in Dutch if he should go away, out of the town.
I simply said “No, you may stay here” (in my jumbled German), and went on down the street looking into more rubble piles.
I have no idea what the man and boy thought outside of the fact that they were very nearly panic stricken and expected no kindness from anyone.
I suppose he would think I would brutally order him to evacuate the town, but instead I brutally left them there and carried on.
What’s to happen to that man and boy. There is no Red Cross for several weeks after we have passed thru.
There is no place in the vicinity where those two and hundreds of others can get food and warmth.
There is nothing but cold, wind and rain for them.
Mother, even us that soldier to fight and risk our lives along with the hardships are very very well off. We should be shot if we are caught grumbling about any of our “awful” hardships.
I “blow my cork” every so often now if I hear anyone moaning too much, and I feel like raving when I read of some of the “hardships” the people of Canada and U.S.A. are having.
Maybe this will give you an idea of why I don’t like the newspapers for all their trash.
Maybe I’m all haywire, I don’t know, but I hope we won’t be bothered by nightmares in the years to come, anyway.
The weather is getting very chilly here now and I relish the fact that I have so much nice warm clothing.
I had thought for a while we would see this Xmas in Canada but it looks rather hopeless now. I guess it’ll be Xmas ’45 now for the first Xmas at home, but at least we should have next spring and summer at home.
Ev and the children are fine. I am very fine and I hope you and Louise are fine too.
Lots of love,
Tom
