Is it just me, or are people talking more quietly these days? At the ripe old age of 62 I find myself saying “pardon me?” far more than necessary. Not as in, “pardon me, may I get by please,” but as in “pardon me, I can’t hear you.” It’s gotten so bad that my husband Harvey is ready to get in his car at a moment’s notice and drive me to the nearest hearing aid store. I keep telling him I only have trouble with my right ear, but he’s not buying it. Then I play the ever-popular “it’s probably just wax in my ears” card. Again, not buying it.
Am I ready to get my ears tested, with the looming possibility of having to wear a hearing aid? Maybe even two? In a word, no. It’s not vanity that holds me back. I couldn’t care less if people see I’m wearing hearing aids. I’m simply resisting getting old. And while they’re certainly not exclusive to the elderly, in my mind hearing aids equal old.
My father, olav ha-sholom, had hearing aids for moderate hearing loss. Did he wear them every day? Hell no. He said his nose felt plugged up when he wore them. Legitimate argument, since the ears and nose are connected through the eustachian tube, and that’s what equalizes the pressure in your ears. My dad was an ear, nose and throat surgeon, so he knew what he was talking about. Ergo, I’m afraid hearing aids will make me feel the same way my dad did. So, I just continue saying “pardon me?”
This aging stuff is definitely not for sissies. Retirement should find me feeling totally carefree, yet I find myself fretting about trivial things like hearing aids, age spots and more grey hair. It could be a lot worse, though. On the plus side, I’m discovering things about myself and the world around me at warp speed. I’m learning how to negotiate for things I want in a calm and measured way. And I’m learning patience in mega-doses by volunteering with the elderly.
We tend to focus on the losses we experience as we age, and forget to look at all the positive things about aging. Such as increased respect (sometimes); seniors discounts and of course, the freedom. All told, I’d have to say that retirement is my favourite time of life. So far. I’m acutely aware that I speak from a place of semi-entitlement, since I’m one of the lucky ones with a pension. And I’m grateful for it every single day. Especially since I see so many seniors still working because they have to, not because they necessarily want to.
In retrospect, when I weigh the pros and cons of aging, a pesky little thing like hearing aids really isn’t all that bad.
Shelley Civkin, the retired “Face of Richmond,” was a Librarian & Communications Officer at Richmond Public Library for nearly 30 years, and author of a weekly book review column for 17 years.
