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Ask Ellie: Passing flirtation no reason to skip friend's wedding

If you have an interest in someone, let them know — or the opportunity may pass you by

Dear Lisi: Pre-COVID-19 I was invited to do some research on site in a warm climate for two months. I jumped at the chance as I was going through a rough breakup. It was an incredible experience.

I returned home a few weeks before the pandemic hit the part of the world where I live. The group I worked with stayed in touch over Zoom over the course of the last two and a half years. We were able to continue our research and focus on what we had done while we were away.

I became very close with a woman on my team, mostly professionally, but our friendship grew over the time we were online. When we were the only ones on a Zoom, the banter would become very flirtatious.

Due to a multitude of factors, we have never been able to get together in person since our research trip. Something happened, and our friendship levelled out this past spring. We still speak but not as often. I felt a shift but didn’t know the cause.

Well, now I do! I just received an invitation to her New Year’s Eve wedding. I thought she was single, since she never mentioned anyone special in her life.

I don’t know if I should attend. What do you think?

Zoom friends

Whatever was going on in your head wasn’t real simply because you didn’t say anything to her. In the course of the last almost three years, you’ve had plenty of opportunity to make a move. And you haven’t.

Chalk it up to a lesson learned. If you have an interest in someone, let them know. As far as attending, you should go. Why not? What do you have to lose?

Dear Lisi: I’m in the process of creating costumes for my daughter’s dance competition. Our dance company has been working with this costume designer for several years. They have a new assistant because they are in high demand since the kids went back to dance after the COVID-19 break.

She’s causing a lot of problems because she doesn’t know what she’s doing. Every small change becomes a huge fiasco. I’m getting frustrated.

I thought I would talk to the owner and voice my frustrations. But the other day she answered the phone and was extolling the virtues of this young girl. I’m not aware of these virtues as I’m only getting to see her many mistakes.

I can’t deal with her anymore and would like to continue the process with someone else. What do I do?

Costume Crazy

Is there someone who you can hand this project off to? Sometimes people just don’t gel. It’s OK. You can’t expect to get along with everyone you encounter. For whatever reason, you and this assistant can’t seem to work together in a productive manner. It’s clear that the owner wants her to do her job. So, walk away.

There will be more dance competitions and more costumes to create. Let this one go.


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