Straight-talking author lives life with gusto

Patty O’Leary Emry talks about her life in the same way she’s lived it — straight on.

The former, longtime Richmond resident has just self-published a book — It Takes a Sense of Humour— on her experiences as an elite athlete, physical education teacher and coach despite living with a disability that would have stopped many in their tracks.

Emry, 64, was born without any, what she termed “exits” (anus or vagina) on the bottom half of her body.

“Obviously, my mouth still works, though,” she quipped. “But the doctors had to literally cut me in half, from the back of my tailbone, all the way to my pubic bone. And from my pubic bone up to my sternum.”

In small-town Iowa, where she was born as a four-pound, premature twin, her parents were told that baby “A,” as she was called, was not expected to live long.

“Surprisingly, I survived the early operations,” Emry said, adding the medical teams employed ground-breaking surgery for the time to re-organize her internal organs so she could function. “In those days, they took babies like me and just put them aside.”

Emry’s twin, Catherine, who did not share her condition, passed away when she was four months old due to complications of having an oversized heart.

Emry, who taught physical education at Crofton House independent school in Vancouver for many years, said she never intended to write a book about something so private.

“But I wanted to make people understand there are ways of finding hope and living life no matter what you’re dealing with and whatever level your life may be at,” she said. “And if it could be better, let’s go after it, let’s attack it. That’s what I want to help people with by speaking to them or having them read my book.”

She credits much of her approach to life to parents who did not treat her any differently than her other five remaining siblings.

“I became just another one of their kids.”

Later in life, when Emry asked her father why they did that, she got a pointed response.

“He told me, ‘Patricia, how dare you ask me that. We wanted you to learn how to fight. We wanted you to learn how to create ways to handle all the things you encountered, and you did. Look what you’ve accomplished.’”

While her parents’ attitude created many difficult moments in her life, it also encouraged her to live life to the  fullest. Among other things, she traveled and became a provincial champion skier and member of the B.C. ski team.

But her condition did create limitations, since Emry wasn’t able to accept a full ride scholarship to a college in the U.S. for skiing because she would have to live in a dorm with the team that would not afford her the type of living arrangements needed to treat her condition.

“I have no sphincter. I have no way of clearing out my system. So, I’ve had to irrigate all my life,” she said.

So, Emry altered plans and became a nationally certified ski instructor.

“I proved it, once again, I could do this,” she said.

Where did that drive came from?

“I’ve always had it. I had to prove to myself that I was OK, even though the lower half of my body was in pain most of the time and not working. I had to prove to myself that other parts of me could,” she said. “I call it piggybacking on my faith, and just for the fun of it.”

Overall, Emry, who now works as a motivational speaker, has been able to maintain as normal a life as possible, given her circumstances.

She and husband Greg adopted two children, and then conceived a third, Shea, who is a middle linebacker for the CFL’s Montreal Alouettes.

“I never thought I’d be able to have sex, so that was a miracle,” she said.

She credits her success to a far-reaching support system, but considers herself as the best component.

“I’m the one who has to take care of Patty,” she said. “We all have bad days and huge challenges. But I’m so very lucky to be here. I’m out there living life with gusto.”

Emry’s book, It Takes a Sense of Humour, is available from amazon.com.