When you hear, "You're not the boss of me!" you most likely think of an insolent child, perhaps trying to assert him or herself over an authority figure.
However, it's a phrase Richmond author Alma Lightbody encourages readers to adopt, not matter what their age.
Using her holistic health background, Lightbody aims to help people better understand themselves in her latest book, You're Not the Boss of Me: Discover Your Authentic Self. She'll be holding a book signing in Serendipity's Backyard next Saturday (Feb. 9) afternoon from 1 to 3 p.m.
"It's about paying attention - aware is a big word - that you might be doing or saying things that don't reflect how you feel," said Lightbody. "I want to encourage people to speak their own truth. You need to pay attention when your body speaks to you."
The book is the culmination of a 10-year journey beginning with herself. After being a corporate cog, losing a business and a relationship, all while experiencing bleeding ulcers, Lightbody realized she needed to stop and think about how she viewed herself.
After a 180-degree career change, Lightbody discovered similar patters in patients on her healing table. Physical ailments would be connected to emotional pains and stresses - a link commonly overlooked.
She said not having a firm grasp on oneself is at the base of these problems, as it can affect relationships and careers.
More often than not, people are shaped by external factors - controls or imprints - in their lives such as media, peers and parents, who tell them what they should or should not think, said Lightbody. On her desk is a "No Smoking"-type sign with the word "Should" substituted for "No Smoking".
You're Not the Boss of Me, which includes charts and exercises, is meant to help people, whether teenagers or older adults, take more control. "It's short and simple, I want to talk to the layman here."
However, she acknowledges that often what shapes a person is a combination of the external, which can be positive, and internal factors; people don't develop in silos.
"In this book, I just wanted to put the question mark in people's minds to start them thinking and becoming aware of what's binding them."
Social media has become a huge controller, where although communication is key, it's not always the right type of communication.
"I think of patterns of communication like a grandfather clock with the pendulum going in the extreme directions. We need to have a little bit of balance to our lives."