Richmond's RCMP have just completed their Distracted Drivers Campaign. You probably saw them stopping cars and handing out tickets.
No? Too busy fiddling with digits in your lap - texting? Apparently we have become like a pubescent boy while we're driving.
We are all fascinated with staring at our crotches, or any other little distraction other than commandeering a chunk of Detroit steel down the road.
And now we're into the "Being Seen in Richmond" campaign. Educating pedestrians about crosswalk saftey and how to survive crotch-staring drivers.
Simply remove headphones while crossing the road, dress in the colours of the '80s and make eye contact with the driver.
Eye contact with the driver! Fat chance of that!
Beside the obvious one of your head hitting the steering wheel, there are so many other reasons eye contact either by you or them is seldom possible.
Your only chance of getting eye contact with a driver and across the road safely is if you're a very attractive female and the driver is a 16-year-old boy with no data plan.
And here the driver must be a young male. Older males with a wife in the car would not dare make eye contact with a beautiful girl for fear of instant reprisals from the wife riding shotgun (how do you think it got that name?).
If it's an older male without the wife, don't you make eye contact. They don't need much encouragement to run amuck.
And if it's a really old guy, try to make eye contact. Jump up and down, blow a whistle, fire a gun, do anything to get his attention. Here you might get eye contact, but that doesn't mean he'll see you.
Never, and here I mean never, cross the street in front of a woman putting on make-up while driving. Forget eye contact, she's too busy making contact with her own eyes.
She's in the rear view mirror, sun visor mirror or the side mirror (depending on the time of day) making herself beautiful.
A mom with kids is usually a safe bet to cross in front of.
And here again, if you're waiting for eye contact, don't bother. Moms use traffic lights like Formula One drivers use pit stops.
They wipe noses, open juice boxes, settle disputes, retrieve toys from the floor, dole out treats, have to turn around and "Look at this!" and become judge and jury as to just who touched who first.
And all this is briefly interrupted with the outlying scenery in fluid position then to become fixed again at the next stoplight. Repeat.
If you want to cross the road safely, try the musical rule that has gotten me to my ripe old age. C Sharp or B Flat.
Bob Niles Richmond